Self-Administration of Excessive Kale Smoothies: An Exploratory Study of Unexpectedly Psychedelic Gastrointestinal Phenomena

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Abstract

Although kale (Brassica oleracea var. sabellica) is widely regarded as a nutritious dietary component, its psychoactive potential has remained unexplored. In this self-experiment, the author consumed a liter-scale quantity of kale smoothies over a 48-hour period in an attempt to evaluate their impact on mood, cognition, and intestinal motility. Subjective effects included transient sensations of “green aura,” enhanced appreciation of photosynthesis, and a persistent auditory hallucination described as “the chlorophyll speaking through me.” Objectively measured outcomes were limited to gastrointestinal irregularities, yet the participant insisted on perceiving “plant telepathy” as a reproducible effect. This experiment highlights the blurred boundaries between dietary intervention and psychedelic inquiry, and suggests kale may function as a low-grade entheogen if consumed beyond socially recommended doses. Further research is warranted to determine the dose-response curve before kale smoothies are classified as either superfood or super-drug.